Co-parenting During the Holidays
Co-parenting During the Holidays
From The Gottman Institute
The holiday season poses unique challenges for divorced parents navigating co-parenting responsibilities. Amidst the emotional strain and potential loneliness, prioritizing the child's well-being becomes paramount. Creating new traditions and maintaining a child-centered focus can alleviate stress during this period. Being mindful of loyalty conflicts and employing emotional coaching techniques, such as Dr. John Gottman's model, helps support children navigating tender emotions. Additionally, strategies like positive communication with the ex-spouse, respecting the child's feelings without guilt, and initiating new holiday traditions serve to create positive and lasting memories. Ultimately, the goal is to model respectful behavior, fostering a cooperative environment that builds enduring positive memories for the child.
Quick and simple tools you can use to immediately relieve stress
Andrew Huberman reveals a simple breathing exercise that acts as a kill switch for stress. It's called the "physiological sigh" or "cyclic sigh", and it can help you short circuit the stressful response.
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that can lead to inaccurate perceptions of reality, influencing our emotions and behaviors. These distortions often manifest as automatic thoughts or beliefs that are biased or irrational, impacting how we interpret situations. They include common distortions like black-and-white thinking (seeing things as all good or all bad), overgeneralization (making broad conclusions based on limited evidence), and catastrophizing (expecting the worst possible outcome). By understanding and recognizing these distortions, parents can help themselves and their children challenge these unhelpful thoughts.
Teaching kids to identify and reframe these distortions can build resilience, promote healthier thinking patterns, and enhance problem-solving skills. Practicing cognitive restructuring techniques, such as examining evidence for and against a thought, can empower parents and children alike to develop more realistic and positive perspectives on various situations.
Here are some examples of mind reading:
- Overgeneralization: This distortion involves making broad generalizations based on limited evidence or a single incident. For instance, after receiving a rejection from one job application, a person might overgeneralize by believing they will never be hired anywhere, ignoring their qualifications or other opportunities.
Mind Reading: This distortion occurs when individuals believe they know what others are thinking, assuming negative thoughts or intentions without evidence. For instance, assuming a friend didn’t invite you to an event because they dislike you, without considering other possible reasons.
Catastrophizing: This distortion involves magnifying or exaggerating the importance or potential consequences of a situation. For example, someone might catastrophize by imagining the worst possible outcome of a minor mistake, such as thinking failing a single exam will ruin their entire academic career.